How will you be remembered?
Last week we watched as the people of the United Kingdom mourned the loss of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. The procession through the streets of London as she was carried to Windsor Castle and St George's Cathedral was astonishing.
Today she is being remembered as a leader who consistently served the United Kingdom and the British Commonwealth with grace and dignity. Can you imagine during her reign of 70+ years all the change she witnessed and endured?
How do you want to be remembered?
Most of what I know about Queen Elizabeth I learned from Netflix or from listening tangiently to experts. Yet, from where I stand, the outpouring of affection by the British people with thousands standing in line to pay homage and respect says a great deal about her legacy and how she will be remembered.
Close to home, recently I learned of the unexpected passing of two former colleagues and friends. Both having left this world too soon. Makes me think.
Thing is, you and I don't have any control over when our time here is done. Four years ago, I received a second chance at living. But ask yourself, How many second chances do I get?
How do you define a life lived in grace?
Can you say you've lived a life of grace? To be honest, it hasn't always been easy for me. I'm not even going to pretend that I've been successful at it in any way consistently.
Have you given yourself grace? Giving yourself permission to forgive your mistakes, lapses in judgment or hurtful behavior is probably the most important of the Graces because let's face it, no one is perfect.
I had to find a way to give myself grace four years ago and accept that I am mortal and that I cannot control outcomes. Yes, I am a recovering control-freak.
Control of outcomes is an illusion. I can only control my thoughts and my actions, which may or may not produce the results that I want. I was so emotionally tied to my results.
As is Perfection; another illusion. It may be something you want to strive for but it is really never achieved. At best all we can say about it is that we are perfectly messy and imperfect because we are human.
As for mastery of leadership, self, etc., the art of mastery is not in the achievement of perfection. As I said, perfection is an illusion.
The art of mastery - the beauty of mastery if you will - is in the effort through actions. I mean, if you did actually attain perfection, what then?
Side note: When I was 14, I played on the city league baseball team. We were made it to the final series, the final five games to determine the best team in the city.
We won in the fifth game! I was so excited. After the game I ran home (the city park baseball diamond was only two blocks away - for the parents out there, yes, a different time).
Then it hit me. Yes, we were champions! But what now? ( I wonder... Does Nick Saban ask himself the same question every other year or so?).
Leadership and Grace
A leader's higher calling is to surround the organization with purpose. - Gary Burnison
In The 5 Graces of life and leadership by Gary Burnison, CEO of Korn Ferry, Burnison writes, "Grace keeps our focus [as leaders] on others. We recognize that leading is not telling people what to do; rather it is guiding them in what to think about."
We are called, each of us, to be "radically human leaders with greater self-awareness and genuine connection to others". To Burnison, GRACE is an acronym for what great leadership is all about. (I love this, radically human leaders.)
It starts with Gratitude, recognizing that you can't go it alone acknowledge others and their contributions;
Resilience, strength to weather the ups and downs; followed by,
Aspirations that elevate everyone's vision for what is possible;
the Courage to ask the hard questions of yourself and others, "are we committed to the change we want see in the world"; and
Empathy, the ability to meet others where they are.
Man, I so get what Burnison is saying here. Without gratitude and courage, it's difficult to be resilient.
It's also hard not to be humble when you're in a state of gratitude because you know you didn't achieve success alone. This mindset of humility is reinforced by your awareness and ability to show and demonstrate empathy.
And add in aspirations - wow! Powerful! As the leader, it's your job to see the vision, be the vision and articulate what the vision looks like for everyone in the organization.
Some final thoughts
I want you to do something for yourself this week. This is an exercise that I have most of my clients tackle.
Find a quiet moment and begin to write. What I want you to write is what others will say about you and remember about you and your legacy. This is your eulogy written in the third person.
In your eulogy, I want you to consider these questions:
What do you want to be known for? What accomplishments do you want to have achieved? How do you want others to remember you?
Be verbose, and be as eloquent as you like. Let your hand flow as the thoughts and words come to mind.
When you are finished, set down your pen and put your eulogy aside. Come back to it later and read it. Keep it close by and refer to it often.
Until next time!
